I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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