is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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