i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
