boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
