Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
