so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's shark week go big or go home
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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