I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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