Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
