I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize