i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was born a porn star she said
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
