Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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