please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
