Welp...herpes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
