I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
