think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
