Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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