peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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