On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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