no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
vagina is talking i cant
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
