and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
