You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
