theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
