Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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