I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize