the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
