all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize