I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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