Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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