Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
