why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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