Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My ass is underappreciated
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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