yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
