Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
