I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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