I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
