Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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