Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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