My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
