This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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