left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
