Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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