Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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