Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
