You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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