You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We need to rekindle our bromance
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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