do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
