before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
