Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize