I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
