That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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