My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
