Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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