Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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