I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize