a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize