things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
