So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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