i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
