we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
