in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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