So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
