Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont even know how to be here
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
