what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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