Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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