I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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