She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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