My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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