I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize
