and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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